[chrysostom]

[Johnny 1989]

That's quite cool, I kept hearing about this Angry Birds thing but never knew what it was.

[jocky85]

I think this guy is genius!

[R94N]

How I love viral videos. And Internet stuff.

[MK Chris]

That interpretive dance is the best big of Fast and Loose.

[bmstinton93]

The priest in a small village loved the rooster and hens he kept in the hen house by the church. One sunday he went to feed the birds he discovered the * was missing. He decided to ask his church members because he heard of * fights taking place in the village. During mass he asked has any got a *? All the men stood up. No no I didn't mean that, has anyone seen a *? All the women stood up. No no I didn't mean that. Has anyone seen a * that dont belong to them? Half the women stood up. No no thats not what I meant. Has anyone seen my *? 16 altar boys, 2priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted...



Doctor rings the husband of a patient and explains "your wife is here and I'm afraid there has been a mix up with her test results so we don't know if she's got Alzheimer's or Aids" the man replies "what the hell am I suppose to do now then?" the doctor answers "I'm going to put her on the wrong bus, if she finds her way home don't shag her!





The lesbians next door asked me what i would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but i think they misunderstood me when i said, 'I wanna watch.'



I was walking through the park, when I saw a woman walking a big, mean looking Rottweiler coming towards.As she got closer to me, I shouted: "Excuse me, is your dog vicious?""Oh no," she replied. "Don't let his looks fool you, he's a big softie.""That's a relief," I said, as I punched her in the face and grabbed her handbag.





The woman sitting opposite me on the train was breastfeeding last night.I tried not looking but she caught me 4 times.With nobody else on the carriage she gave me a cheeky wink and said, "Would you like a go?"I said, "Yes please".She soon changed her mind when I put my * in her baby's mouth.

[R94N]

Are those jokes from Sickipedia by any chance? Great site!

[bmstinton93]

No just got texted them earlier

[dimtimjim]

Making me smile yesterday was getting my broken PS3 fixed, with a 3 hour turn around time, for £20! Whoop!

Made me feel old though, the spotty little oik that fixed it couldn't have been a day over 18..... Bet that went straight into his 'pot fund'. Good lad!

[bmstinton93]

Sorry. We only deal with things that are making you smile today, not yesterday...

[dimtimjim]

Well, to be fair, I was so pleased to get my PS3 back, i'm still smiling today!!

[chrysostom]

got a phone call offering me another low level social media consultancy role which will look good on the CV

[dimtimjim]

My CV is like my penis.......






Not much to look at, but hasn't stopped me achieving amazing things.

[bmstinton93]

I've got Brett Domino's album and it's brilliant! Well worth the £6.99 that I paid for it

[foot-loose]

My CV is like my penis.......






Not much to look at, but hasn't stopped me achieving amazing things.

You lied twice there.

[bmstinton93]

Apple announced today the launch of a chip to be implanted into women's breasts that plays music. The iTit will cost £399 and is regarded as a major breakthrough as women are always moaning that men just stare at their boobs and never listen to them.

[chrysostom]

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for completing your online assessments - you’re now successfully through to the next stage of the recruitment process. This means you’ll be considered for any appropriate opportunities at BBC North. We’ll be in touch as and when these opportunities arise. We will be recruiting for vacancies for BBC North throughout 2011.

only applying for 6-12 month contracts in London branch of BBC north, but I made it through 2 stages and am now waiting for a call to work with the BBC *fingers crossed*

BUT YEY.

[bmstinton93]

Congratulations.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for completing your online assessments - you’re now successfully through to the next stage of the recruitment process. This means you’ll be considered for any appropriate opportunities at BBC North. We’ll be in touch as and when these opportunities arise. We will be recruiting for vacancies for BBC North throughout 2011.

only applying for 6-12 month contracts in London branch of BBC north, but I made it through 2 stages and am now waiting for a call to work with the BBC *fingers crossed*

BUT YEY.

BBC Not North then?

[McGuinness-89]

Good luck!

[DevilsDuck]

http://bit.ly/eWl24V lol

[John22]

I'm sorry to say as a Bristol resident and zoo pass holder, that is a popular urban myth...

[Yudster]

You had to ruin it for him didn't you John? Its ok Duck, don't listen to the nasty boy, you believe the silly story if you want. There there....

[DevilsDuck]

It still made me lol :'(

[Nicola_Red]

I received a PM about half an hour ago that blew my mind! I'm still taken aback now...